I've been watching Ken Burns' "The Civil War". There was a bit that got me thinking about something which I've had trouble fully defining.
In one of the episodes, a historian talks about the simplicity of the values of the soldiers in that war. He marvels at how they were willing to march a mile and a half across an open field against a fortified enemy position. Think of the Union soldiers at Fredericksburg or the Confederate soldiers under Hood at Franklin. The historian also talks about how, were he in that situation, he feels like his response might have been "Sir, I don't believe that's a good idea sir" but how they bore it year after year and slaughter after slaughter.
Someone misgendering another person is a cruelty, just like any bully teasing a vulnerable person. There have always been cruel people though.
Juxtaposing that example of historical resilience against the increasingly baroque etiquette we require to insulate ourselves from experiencing garden variety cruelty, there's an incongruency that bothers me. Why could they bear that but we cannot bear this?
I think this is a fairly descriptive term. This happened fairly recently for me in another context. After I saw Star Wars Episode VIII, I let it be known that I thought it was a bad movie. In this cultural moment, some folks will take that innocent opinion from a lifelong Star Wars fan as a signifier of my stance in favor of every controversial thing that a terrible person who also disliked the movie said. It feels like everything is taken as a dog whistle.
This exact same thing happened to me at a party. There is a very odd amount of belief around SW8 in terms of equality and rights. It doesn't really make a lot of sense; and feels similar to the way people think The Babadook is somehow related to coming out of the closet.
In one of the episodes, a historian talks about the simplicity of the values of the soldiers in that war. He marvels at how they were willing to march a mile and a half across an open field against a fortified enemy position. Think of the Union soldiers at Fredericksburg or the Confederate soldiers under Hood at Franklin. The historian also talks about how, were he in that situation, he feels like his response might have been "Sir, I don't believe that's a good idea sir" but how they bore it year after year and slaughter after slaughter.
Someone misgendering another person is a cruelty, just like any bully teasing a vulnerable person. There have always been cruel people though.
Juxtaposing that example of historical resilience against the increasingly baroque etiquette we require to insulate ourselves from experiencing garden variety cruelty, there's an incongruency that bothers me. Why could they bear that but we cannot bear this?