I clearly don't have the same conversations as you, but if someone tells me house is techno, I'll just roll my eyes as that's the same comment my mom would say. If you want to tell me that tech-house vs UK garage vs Detroit is all house, I'll have a bit of sympathy but they are not the same. These are not irrelevant details. Lots of DJs specialize in a style/genre/subgenre, and realizing why you like what a certain DJ plays and not what another DJ plays helps you find gigs that you will enjoy.
So knowing the differences is not unhelpful. You're just having boring conversations. It sounds to me like when Trekkies discuss their favorite episodes of which ever series they like, or why they like certain series over others. Or someone that can tell me the differences of hobbit, orc, wizard and the other books by that author. I don't begrudge them their fascination with whatever the topic is, I just find a way to move the conversation or a way to remove myself if that is the more expedient option. I'm not going to go to ComiCon and complain that people are talking about comics. I just don't go to ComiCon. There's no reason to be rude about. So you saying something that you don't care about while someone else does is tiring and unhelpful makes you the tiring and unhelpful person.
I've listened to EDM of various genres for more than 20 years. My critique is not because I don't care, it's because I haven't ever seen the value you talk about realized.
So knowing the differences is not unhelpful. You're just having boring conversations. It sounds to me like when Trekkies discuss their favorite episodes of which ever series they like, or why they like certain series over others. Or someone that can tell me the differences of hobbit, orc, wizard and the other books by that author. I don't begrudge them their fascination with whatever the topic is, I just find a way to move the conversation or a way to remove myself if that is the more expedient option. I'm not going to go to ComiCon and complain that people are talking about comics. I just don't go to ComiCon. There's no reason to be rude about. So you saying something that you don't care about while someone else does is tiring and unhelpful makes you the tiring and unhelpful person.