Maybe my circle is unusual, but almost none of the programmers I know live down to the popular stereotypes. Most of them are popular, and a third are jacked.
Most programmers are not worth spying on or even scamming. That's fine.
"dirty ass programmer" contrasted with "beautiful woman" is a stereotypical example, but not a rule. It represents an asymmetry in typical social interactions. If you're getting much more than you deserve, it's a trap. Got it?
You need to get out more for your own good.