These words are unfortunately loaded. "instrumentalizing" is so close to "instrument" for me to see them as unrelated in meaning. But lots of similar words drift in meaning, or have several interpretations.
I don't have any issue with people doing things for "natural" reasons, vs. realpolitik analytical reasons, when the motive is still benefit-neutral, or benefit-benefit relative to ourselves-others.
When we win, by being a better collaborator with others, it isn't operating in a shallow or selfish sense.
It isn't treating others like instruments for our benefit over theirs. It isn't manipulation.